Foolish
by hajimenokizu
Summary: What matters? The heart or the head? Tetsunosuke must decide under pressure from the demon, Hijikata. Oneshot.


"You idiot!" His eyes flared at the young page who refused to obey orders.

"But Hijikata-san!" Ichimura Tetsunosuke was down on his knees, clawing the dirt with his fingers. "Let me stay here…" He begged, his voice low. "I want to die here with you Fukuchou!"

Angered the demon vice-commander pulled the young man up roughly, grabbing his collar and lifting his small frame. His eyes were like burning coals and Tetsunosuke squirmed at his glare.

"Have you learned –nothing- at all Tetsunosuke?" Toshizou snarled at him. The young man's ears started to ring as he tried to desperately fight his commander's grip. "I am not –here- to die!"

The young man's eyes started to water. His commander was lying and he knew it. Why else would he give him a momento for his family in Tama? Why else would he have seen his badly written death poem? He shook his head there was no way he would leave Goryokaku. Unlike the others who deserted, those who fled in Toba-Fushimi, those who refused to leave Aizu for Goryokaku. Even his own brother Tatsunosuke had fled fearing their fate. He was –unlike- them. He was Shinsengumi going after the right for a new Republic. Tetsunosuke knew his life was tied to his commander and that one promise he gave to Okita-san.

With one sweeping motion Hijikata threw Tetsunosuke to the ground. The young man raised his hand to his temple, wincing at the sudden pain there. As he brought his fingers up to shield the sun a drop of blood fell on his face. "Hijikata-san…" He said weakly and sat up. His eyes grew wide as he heard a click and a musket aimed straight at his head. "Why Hijikata-san?"

"For not obeying orders." Hijikata's hand didn't waver. His finger was dangerously closing in on the trigger.

"At least let me commit seppuku…" Was this it? After everything? Didn't loyalty matter? Wasn't it from the Demon Commander that he learned the value of honor, responsibility and most of all loyalty? "Where did I fail Fukuchou?"

"You were a failure as a page! A failure as a soldier… You can't even follow a simple direction…" Hijikata spat on the ground, his dark eyes were narrowing into slits that not even Tetsunosuke could see what was under them.

Tetsunosuke looked around, there were not many men at the back of their stronghold. Most were guarding the entrance point to Goryokaku. But those who were left, kept their eyes on the Commander and his page. It was then that he realized that Hijikata was stuck between a rock and a hard place. For him to publicly denounce a direct order… Hijikata had no choice but to punish him.

"Shoot then!" He shouted and lowered his eyes on the ground. The last thing he remembered was the sky painted in a shade of red.

* * *

He ran across the bridge, not paying attention at the beautiful sparkling water beside him. Today was a special day, he came to with a letter to Okita Souji. He came down the road screaming "Okita-san!" and then banging on the wooden gates. 

An old woman came and showed him inside and he almost tripped trying to get to the engawa. At the sight of his old friend a smile broke out onto his face.

"Ah Tetsu-kun." Okita lifted his arm and tilted his head with small smile on his cracked lips.

"Okita-san!" The young man couldn't hide the excitement from his voice. He hasn't seen Okita since they brought him here to Edo. "I brought you a letter from Hijikata-san!"

"How is he Tetsu-kun?" Okita slowly took the letter and started opening it.

"He's as strong as an Ox and lives up to his name Okita-san. They call him the Demon Commander!"

"Commander?" Okita looked up, his brows furrowed and his hand shook.

Tetsu realizing the blunder he had commited, immediately corrected himself. "Vice-Commander I mean."

"Sou ka… How is Kondou-san?"

"He's… He's…" Tetsunosuke swallowed, he hated lying to Okita. He always got caught anyway but he knew this was not the time to bring bad tidings, especially not when he wanted to get Okita-san better and providence forbid Hijikata should find out he blabbed his mouth.

"He's leading a lot of men to Aizu and meeting up with the others there." He made sure his voice didn't crack but the suspicious look on Okita's face told him, he could read him like he was an open book. To Tetsunosuke's surprise Okita didn't press any further about Kondou and contented himself reading Hijikata's letter.

"Tetsu…" Okita laughed feebly, "You always did get under Toshizou's skin. Well he even mentions you in this letter."

"Honto ni?" Tetsunosuke grabbed the letter looking for his name. "What the HELL IS THIS? I'm a pain in the…"

Souji just laughed and coughed in between. Taking the letter back he placed it into his sleeve and continued in a low voice, "Hijikata-san has his own way Tetsu-kun." Souji looked up in the blue sky and rested his back on the wooden column, closing his eyes.

"Okita-san…" Tetsu shook his shoulder, "Are you alright?"

Without opening his eyes Souji patted the hand on his shoulder, "I will be. But Tetsu-kun…"

"Hai Okita-san?"

"I want all of you to visit me sometime… You, Hijikata-san, Kondou-san… The others who are left…"

The young man stood up and fixed the katana on his waist. "Well I need to go then. I promise to bring them back." Ichimura Tetsunosuke turned his back and headed for the main gate. He could now hear the water flowing smoothly from a watermill, the wind humming against the trees but he could also hear Okita having a coughing fit bad enough to turns one's stomach. He wondered what he looked like while he was having those spasms and for a while thought of turning back. He decided against it, simply because he knew Okita-san had been stifling his coughs earlier and he wanted to remember Okita Souji the way he once was - as the best swordsman in the Shinsengumi.

* * *

The rustling of feet had broken his sleep. Raising his head up to his head, he traced the bandages along his forehead up to his back. Wasn't he dead? He blinked a few times trying to adjust to the dark room and turned his head where he had heard the sound before. 

"Glad you're awake."

"Hijikata-san? What happened?" The young man sat up groggily while Hijikata threw him a bag. "What's this?"

"Your orders. Do you remember them?"

Tetsunosuke strained his eyes to see only HIjikata's silhouette and his piercing dark eyes. "Can we open a light?"

"No. They'll see you Tetsu-kun." Tetsunosuke could hear Hijikata heave a sigh. "Do you understand how much trouble you put me through earlier?"

"Hai… Suma… Hijikata-san."

"Is your head feeling better?"

"Hai."

"Good. You leave tonight. I got you some tattered clothes. Slip out of here and if anyone asks… You are now a beggar who was mugged by the rebels."

"You mean us…"

"We're rebels now aren't we?"

"Fukuchou… Why can't I stay?"

"Because if I fail here…" Hijikata chuckled for a moment, "I want you to continue and I want my family to know."

Tetusnosuke hang his head low. So it was true… Even Hijikata saw only the slim chance they had. "I'll come back once this is done."

Hijikata nodded his head and lit his pipe. Standing up, he closed the door on his page, and turned to enjoy the full moon. Tetsunosuke wasted no time as he left but it was his fate never to return to Hokkaido.

THE END.

Disclaimer: PMK is not mine. All copyright is owned by their respective owners. This is just fanfiction.


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